An Email From The Flying Monkey Marathon

I thought I'd share with you an email I received from the Flying Monkey Marathon (an event I'm running in November). If I wasn't worried about being ill prepared for this race before, I am now :)

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There are now less than 1500 hours until the third Harpeth Hills Flying Monkey Marathon begins. Or so I've been told. The way I see it, you are in deep trouble. Deep deep trouble. I would suggest that you consider starting to train for this thing. I would, if, in fact, training would help in any way.

It won't.

So you may as well not try.

'Tis better to blame November's hurt on a lack of training than on something far deeper. Something you cannot as easily change. Something that, apparently, is a part of your deepest soul: your foolishness. Utter and sheer foolishness. Foolishness manifest in your act of registration last month. Pitiful.

Don't get me wrong. It may not be permanent, your foolishness. Some have seen the error of their ways. A few wise men and women have sent me notes respectfully asking to be removed from the list of registrants for Monkey III. These few have perhaps chiseled away at their foolishness. Imperceptibly. But there it is.

In the mean time, you are still registered. And you have only a little time remaining. You should get your affairs in order. You should kiss those you love. And perhaps, you should pray to what ever force greater than you in which you believe.

If, in fact, that would help in any way.

It won't. Monkey is gonna hurt.

So, where was I? Oh yes. Monkey Marathon. Right. November 23. Packet pickup the day before, didn't I tell you that already? Loads of info on the website, including lodging info, maps, a really goofy message board and pictures of the park. Soon it will include a listing of bib numbers. Soon I will email you more info and maps for the various locations where you will need to be (or avoid) over Monkey weekend.

Answers to questions I have received -

- The first 1/3 mile and last 1/3 mile of the marathon are on grass. The rest is on asphalt.

- The course is not certified. As I have said elsewhere, if you get to the end and you (or your gadget) believe the route to be long, we won't charge you extra; if you believe it to be short, just keep running. But the course is about the right distance.

- Finishers will receive medals. If I can get my act together and have them made. If not, finishers will get to finish. But I should be able to get my act together. Please note, those who do not finish, well, you don't want to know.

- And to repeat something I have said many times before: as always, we are looking for volunteers on race morning. So if you know of anybody smart enough not to run who wants to come out and spend a sweltering or freezing morning in the park helping out, please let us know. Volunteers are awesome!

- Packet pickup will be at the Gordon JCC on November 22, 2008 between 2pm and 4pm. The JCC is located at 801 Percy Warner Blvd, Nashville, TN 37148. This is less than 2 miles from the race start/finish area. Maps to follow.

- We may be able to access the Gordon JCC for showers after the marathon. Stay tuned...

Please holler with questions, curses or interesting facts about the monkeyverse. If you have decided that you are too wise to run this thing, please let us know so we don't send the monkeys out looking for you.